You feel like your life is on pause. Going through the motions. Day in. Day out. And you don’t know what to do to instigate change.
You know you want, no, need to change your life but you have a million and one reasons why you can’t do what you want to do right now. There always seems to be something in your way. Like if this one obstacle would disappear, you would be on your way to the life of your dreams.
I hear ya! It is so easy to be perpetually stuck in life situations, dreaming of some magical time in the future during which you will finally be living a life you truly love.
- when I retire
- when the kids don’t need me
- when my parents are gone
- when I have enough money
- when I sell my house
when when when
The time is always just out of reach. So you dream. And complain. And get pissed off with your life, your family and anything you deem as holding you back.
But what if what is really holding you back…is you. Ew. Who wants to admit that? Certainly not me. But you need to figure this out or you will never be able to move forward.
Excuses are dream crushers.
Excuses are basically reasons why you can’t go after the life you really want. Sometimes they are very real and valid. Sometimes they are perceived obstacles you put in your own way. And sometimes they are walls that stop you from embracing the life you already have. You need to identify what kind of excuses you have. Only then will you be able to remove and conquer them.
Because here is a truth that you may not like to face: life is short. That is a really scary thought but no less true. Midlife is scary as shit. It seems like every few weeks, I find out about someone else that has passed. Maybe I am just more aware of death around me but it really is hard to ignore the ticking.
So what if your when never arrives. Would you be happy with the life you lived and accept that you never got to realize some of your dreams? Maybe. But if the thought of not being able to do the things that bring you joy every single day scares the crap out of you, it is time to make things happen.
When is now.
Identify Your Excuses
Are they valid?
Look, I get it. For many years I did not travel because my mom was really ill. Maybe your children are still young. Maybe you can’t afford your dream life whatever it is. That’s fine. Don’t beat yourself up about it. But do make plans and put things in place. You will feel better about feeling stuck…for now.
Are they perceived obstacles?
Yes, your mother may be ill, your children young and your bank account empty but are you leaning on those excuses a little too much? Can you find someone else to look after your parents or children and are you willing to give up dinners out?
I want you to really examine if your reasons are ones that you have thrust upon yourself, consciously or unconsciously. Dig deeper. Maybe there is more than meets the eye. Could it be you are scared to follow your dreams or maybe you just don’t know how.
Talk to your family. Seek out other people that are already doing what you want to do and ask their advice. Chances are that they had to overcome some of the same excuses and fears.
Are they walls?
Maybe, just maybe, you are chasing the wrong goals and you don’t really want to achieve them so you create excuses.
We all can get a little envious of those instagrammers that are always travelling and we may think that we would like to do that too. But I want you to really, really examine the dreams you frequently talk about and evaluate if they really are what you want.
Because if they are not, your wasting your time, energy and mental power for no good reason. And that can and will make you not appreciate all that you have right now. You may even find that you are already so close to living your dream life. How sad is it that you don’t even realize that?
Excuses are reasons. Plain and simple. They are those little things you tell yourself that keep you from doing what you say you want to do. And they can also rob you of enjoying the life you already have. By identifying and eliminating those excuses, either you will be ready/able to change your life or at the very least, be grateful for what you already have.
Make your midlife matter.