Being in a relationship can either be wonderfully sweet and beautiful or difficult and trying. Now many of us I’m sure have had our fair share of shitty relationships. They didn’t start out that way, but people change, things happen and eventually the relationship turns sour. Once again, you have found yourself single again and trying to find yourself.
There is much to learn about ourselves after a failed marriage or relationship. We analyze what went right and what went wrong. What could we have done differently and what did we tolerate that we probably shouldn’t have. As we take this time for self discovery and improvement, we can also reflect back on the things in the relationship that we should have had more control over, especially what is worth sacrificing and what isn’t.
When we enter into a new relationship we go in strong but as time goes on, we revert back to our old ways and start putting up with things we swore we never would again. We also go back to sacrificing things that never should be sacrificed.
I think some of us are simply afraid of being alone so we let things slide, again. Here’s a small list of the things, that moving forward in your new relationship, you should never sacrifice again.
7 Things You Shouldn’t Sacrifice in a New Relationship
- Your values. The things you believe in and stand for. Are your friends at the top of the list? Maybe your religious beliefs? Do you stand up for and believe in a zero tolerance for drinking and driving? Whatever your values are, hold them in high regard and don’t sacrifice them because your new partner doesn’t share the same values as you.
- Your independence. You’ve been single for a while now and this relationship is relatively new. Though it’s all fun and awesome and you want to spend lots of time with this person, don’t forget your own personal space. If you show this new person you are available at their beck and call 24/7 right out of the gate, that’s what they will expect always. Honour your personal space and make sure they know how important it is to you.
- Your self-respect. This should go without saying but too often when we are in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship the other person may say something questionable that challenges your self-respect. Lay down a firm boundary line of self-respect and let them know under no circumstances will it be crossed. You know what’s right and what’s wrong when it comes to respect. Your heart knows. Do not sacrifice this.
- Your self-worth. Do not ever think you aren’t worthy of a true love. You most certainly are. It might have been that in your last relationship you were treated like you were worthless. Take back your love for yourself and honour the true magnificence that you are and never let anyone treat you poorly again. You are amazing and beautiful and absolutely worthy of being treated like a princess. No wait, a Queen!
- Your family and/or friends. Never! It doesn’t matter that your friends will be there for you no matter what, don’t take advantage of that and drop them to the wayside because your new partner doesn’t like them or wants to take up all your time. Go back and read #2. Your independence includes spending time with the people who matter most to you, your friends and family. If your new partner can’t accept that, they aren’t the one for you. Never sacrifice the people who love you the most for someone who has the potential to drop you like a hot potato after 6 months.
- Your dreams. You want to travel the world? Maybe you want to go sky diving. Maybe you want to go on a volunteer mission and help save the world. Do you have a big beautiful dream that you really want to achieve? Don’t sacrifice your dreams or goals for someone who doesn’t agree with or believe in. Your new partner should support you and your dreams/goals/ideas. If they don’t, you may find your dreams taking a back seat. How long will they sit back there for?
- Your vision. Is your plan to retire soon and then buy an RV and travel for months and years? Maybe you want to open up an orphanage or a shelter for lost and stray puppies and kittens. Do you have a legacy that you want to manifest and live out? Don’t let your new partner get in the way. Live your life for you and don’t sacrifice your vision because someone isn’t interested in being on board with it.
If anything questionable comes up in your new relationship have a serious discussion with your new partner and let them know what things you want tolerate. They will either understand or walk away. Don’t buckle. Stand your ground.
This is your life. Don’t let anyone deter you from being the magnificent being you are right now and living the life you so desire.