This piece first appeared on Splash of Cray.  See the author’s bio and contact info below the post.

Do you know how crazy dating is for a woman over 40? I mean, if you’re not into the bar scene and aren’t able to meet quality men in your everyday travels, you resort to either becoming a hermit, a loner or take a chance via online dating sites! Oy vey! And online dating for women over 40 can be scary sh*t.

 

DATING AFTER DIVORCE: THERE’S A WHOLE MESS OF MESS OUT THERE!

 

There is a mess of messy baggage out there ladies! Be forewarned! It’s not like dating in your 20’s or 30’s!

 

Getting Back Into The Dating Game

 

After 13 years of marriage, I find myself re-entering the World of dating. Mind you, this is as a 49-year-old woman. Might I add, this is my choice!

When I think of dating in my 30’s, I remember how much fun it was! Meeting men. Chatting them up. Turning them down. Kicking them to the curb. Falling in lust, sometimes even love. And the huge variety each one brought.

Now, at 49, it just doesn’t seem to have the same appeal.

 

Why?

 

Have you been on the dating sites and seen the pickens for our age bracket?

I don’t mean to offend anyone and I’m by far, not perfect. But good lawd, ladies!

I tend to believe that men just do not age as well as women.

Don’t believe me? Go peek for yourself!

 

How Do You Get Started?

First, make sure you ready to be disappointed, frustrated, and let down.

Dig this one too! —> 3 Signs that Prove He’s a Man-Child

It’s a whole different World out there! (and not just for the ladies)

Dating after divorce for a woman over 40 is scary sh*t!Click To Tweet

Again, make sure you have healed from your previous disaster and are ready to move on first.

Dating is different the second time around after divorce. Online dating for women over 40 can be scary sh*t but with these 10 tips you will stay safe, have fun and possibly meet a keeper. #onlinedating #relationships #datingafterdivorce

10 Tips For Successful Online Dating For Divorced Women Over 40

 

1. Not All Dating Sites Are Created Equally
You will find sites that are Free, but are they really? Be careful what you invest in. Window shop for a bit and head my warning: Much of what you see is not really what it appears to be.

2. Be Honest
Of course, not everyone is but if you are truly looking for a friend, casual dating, short/long-term relationship, by all means, be honest!

3. Post Recent Pictures
If at all possible, ask a friend to take a few shots of you. Different outfits, different hair, etc. Get playful with it. You want your potential mate to feel your personality via your images.

4. Don’t Give Out Your Phone Number
Trust me, if they message you, they will want to text right away. I don’t know what the deal is with that? Sexting? Hack into your phone? WTF’eva! Chat ’em up first before you exchange digits.

5. Don’t Meet In Person Right Away
From my most recent experience, some of these folks are going to want to “hookup” fast. Don’t do it! Chat ’em up! Keep a checklist! Ask the same questions a few times just to see if they reply the same. You’re bound to catch a liar in his/her tracks!

Dig this one too! —> Dating Breakups Post Millennial: It’s Not the 80’s Anymore

6. Meet In A Public Place
This is very important as women. A public place that is well-lit! I don’t care if you pack a knife, taser, or gun, public place…lots of lighting! Drive your own vehicle so you can get away if you have to.

7. Make Sure A Friend Or Two Has The Deets
Again, very important! Make sure you write down the details of the person you are meeting and give it to a friend or two. This should include Full name, phone number, address, place of employment. Any info that you may get on this potential suitor will be good.

8. Be Honest With Him/Her
If you’re not feeling it, be honest with him/her. But make sure you’re in a safe situation that you can escape if needed. Possibly end the evening early and on a good note. The contact afterward is when you could say “I just wasn’t feeling it” or however you want to let the person down.

If you are feeling it, by all means, show it. We’re middle-aged so just about anything goes now. We’ve been around the block a few times so if you wanna ride that cowboy that first night, Go For It! You owe it to yourself to have some fun!

9. Be Prepared To Be Insulted
If you let a potential suitor/date down, be prepared they may not be so cordial about the letdown. Men have a huge ego!

If it happens, take the high road and just hang up on them or block them on the dating site. They can soothe their ego later by themselves.

10. Have Fun!
By all means, have fun! We are in the prime of our lives! Most of us are well-established and know what we want. We have good jobs, our own home, children, furry-children, and so much more.

 

Don’t settle for less than you deserve or want.

 

Remember, it’s best to be alone for the right reasons, than with someone for the wrong.

 

I Want To Hear About Your Experiences

 

Let’s hear it! These dating experiences humor me! Some can also be a little sad and frustrating but if you’ve been out there doing it for a bit, let’s share! I want to hear your best and worse experience! Just click on over to Splash of Cray and share a comment or message me.

Brenda is many things to many people but first and foremost, she’s their mommy. Yes, the mother of two furry humans that never cease to amaze her. Brenda is recently divorced at almost 50 but she’s happy as can be because she is living her life! She walks to her own beat, eats what she wants when she wants, and doesn’t let anyone tell her “You can’t”. Brenda’s mission which she shares on her blog, A Splash of Cray, is simple: Live life to it’s fullest and ensure your OWN happiness!