How To Deal With Rude Comments About Your Gray Hair
Congratulations! You have taken the bold step of embracing your gray hair and ditching the bottle! But I have to warn you. People are going to comment on your decision. And not always in the most positive way.
Unfortunately, people can be weirdly bold about other women’s choices and have no qualms about expressing their opinion. And its not always strangers. From your mom or aunt to your best friend and co-workers, be prepared for comments like:
- “You look older.”
- “When are you going to dye it?”
- “It makes you look tired.”
- “You’ve really let yourself go.”
- “Grey hair isn’t very professional.”
- “You were so much prettier before.”
- “That’s aging you fast.”
- “Are you sick or stressed?”
But hear this: when someone tells you that you look old because of your grey hair, it is a reflection of their own insecurity or outdated beauty standards, not a judgment on your worth.
How you respond to rude comments about your decision to stop dyeing your hair really depends on your vibe in the moment. The best responses are ones that establish a firm boundary, embraces your authentic self, or shuts down the rudeness with humour.
Here are a few go-to retorts you can use:
1. The "Confident & Empowered" Approach
These responses highlight that your gray hair is a personal choice, a sign of wisdom, or a sign of health (no more harsh dyes).
- "I’m embracing my silver crown—I’ve earned it!"
- "I love it, and that’s really all that matters".
- "It’s not 'old,' it's 'vintage' ".
- "I think it looks elegant, and it actually makes my skin look younger".
- "I'm finally free from the salon chair every three weeks. How much do you pay?".
2. The "Polite Boundary" Approach
If the person is a friend or family member, you can be polite but firm about setting a boundary.
- "Thanks for your concern, but I’m very happy with how I look".
- "My hair is actually off-limits for discussion".
- "I actually think of my grey hair as a sign of life, not age".
3. The "Turn the Tables" Approach
These responses use questions to make the other person reflect on why they made such a rude comment.
- "What an interesting thing to say out loud." (Best for making them uncomfortable with their own rudeness).
- "What an odd thing to say to someone".
- "Is that supposed to be a compliment?".
- "Did I ask you to comment on my appearance?".
4. The "Snarky & Witty" Approach
If you want to use humor to shut down the comment.
- "I know, I’m 112. Sometimes my stylist can’t hide it".
- "I didn't know this conversation was about my hair".
- "Dye isn't a magical cloak of youth. Dyed hair makes your skin look pale and sallow".
- "I'd rather look old than have toxic chemicals on my scalp".
5. The "I'm not even going to acknoledge your comment" Approach
Do not feel compelled to defend yourself at all. Sometimes the most powerful move is a blank look and a change of subject. Silence can be loud while still expressing your disapproval of the comment.
Remember: Your hair is a natural, beautiful part of you. And you get to decide what you do with your hair.
If you are truly worried that you may be looking older than your years, consider changing your hairstyle to better suit your facial features. Or maybe updating your colour choices in your wardrobe.
You are only as old as you feel so if you feel great, shrug those comments off about your newly transitioned gray hair. And maybe you will show those nasty nellies that it is time they came over to the wonderful gray side.
